Updated October 11, 2025
1997-2023
As a child living in Wisconsin, I was raised in the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (WELS) my whole life. My family, which was an amalgamation of various Christian beliefs and mindsets, was primarily Lutheran. I went to Lutheran private schools up until college. These schools provided a slanted view of the scriptures, angled towards the common evangelical Sunday ritual religious practices which are far outside of biblical truth. During my time in these schools, I applied Jesus as a sort of icing on the cake of my own life, being a worldly young man obsessed with video games, guns and warfare, football, pornography, movies, TV, etc. During my high school years, I was puffed up in my artistic ability, and the result was attending a college for graphic design, getting in loads of debt for a degree I thought I needed. During my time in college, I began to look into the things of God more, being a somewhat isolated person. I began to see the truth of the modern church systems, how they're not rooted in Scripture. I left the Lutheran church, and began my own journey of bouncing around the false teacher web of YouTube, finding teachers and preachers my flesh liked. I would share these new teachers with my parents, who would also bounce around online to whatever false teacher fit their flesh, we were all lost in the darkness. While there was some truth the preachers offered, it wasn't the full truth, and none of us sought the truth from God in his word. After my 7 year up and down college journey, I finally finished with my degree, and left my family to do traveling conservation work around Wisconsin.
“Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.” (Ephesians 2:2-3, KJV)
2023-2025
As I made a stop with my crew at a festival in Hayward, WI, I encountered a street preacher, rebuking a modern pastor, and preaching God's word. The things he said made a lot of sense, and I found him after the preach to hear more about what he had to say. I met with him another time soon after the event, and was in daily communication with him. During our time communicating, I was lax in seeking truth, and the Lord knew I didn't take it seriously. When the time came to either commit to obeying the truth, or separate from this preacher I chose to commit, yet not entirely on the inside. I still held to the belief I had been used of God my whole life, I still held to my pride, I didn't seek the truth in God's word, I thought I was born again (even though I was bouncing around my whole life), and the Lord knew all of this. I began to obey some of the things in God's word, and the saints I knew helped me leave my old life and my false Christian family behind by moving into van life. Traveling with them, I learned to preach, share the word, and live in this new lifestyle. While I was learning the doctrines of God, walking in them was a roller-coaster. I didn't understand spiritual truths, what my flesh was, what the Spirit was (I'll cover this in a blog post), so my understanding of how to walk in the Spirit was non-existent. Why? I didn't have it. I had a lot of knowledge, but no spiritual understanding which is given by the Lord. Instead of admitting to the saints I didn't truly submit to God inwardly, I kept up my image that I was a competent saint. I lied to myself, and convinced myself that my conscience which told me something was wrong, was my flesh trying to stop me. Eventually, everything got exposed by the Lord. My fruit was inconsistent and my fruit was not good, though I continued to put up an image of competency. Throughout my walk, I questioned if I was born again multiple times, I spoke lies, tore down good things, it was much confusion, and the saints were long-suffering with me through my stupidity.
“For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.” (Galatians 6:3, KJV)
September 2025
After more display of terrible fruit, I took a day to seek the truth from the Lord. At this point, I just wanted the truth, I was so tired of my own thoughts, my ways, any influence outside of God's word. There was so much confusion and destruction that was wrought throughout my walk, I needed to know if I was truly born again or not. What I found was the truth, I was not. A good tree brings forth good fruit, and my fruit was rotten, and after having confirmed these things in God's word, I repented and came into the light. I told the saints, knowing it would result in separation, and it did.
Note: This separation is biblical, even though I repented, as I'll explain in future blog posts.
These great evils that I did grieved me for a time, but the Lord upheld me with his hand. He didn't let me fall into utter despair because he saw that I was willing to lose everything to come into the light. I told the Lord during this period of floating, not knowing my direction forward, that I felt like a dead man out of mind. Having left my old life (and not returning), separated from the only saints I knew, I was truly just a pile of dust.
“I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.” (Psalms 31:12, KJV)
I began to seek the Lord, and this verse comforted me greatly...
“And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.” (Psalms 9:10, KJV)
I know the Lord wants none to perish, and I know he's merciful, so I began to go to his word daily and search the scriptures, being my only hope in the world. It was at this point I believe the Lord gave me his Spirit, finally being nothing before him, losing everything in me to be made new and conform to him, which is what I wanted! Every day it seemed he was showing me something new (not new revelation, but spiritual understanding of the truth that is already established in God's word). By his great mercy because of the forgiveness of his Son, being led into truth by his Spirit, I've been purging false mindsets, false beliefs, learning how to fight the flesh, learning how to walk in the Spirit, testing my own life to God's word, etc. I'll go into more detail on what I'm learning on my blog page for your edification, but I want to give God glory for his mercy he showed towards me, his long-suffering, his forgiveness because of his Son, what a great God I serve!
“Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.” (1 Corinthians 2:12, KJV)
A testimony that gave me a lot of comfort and encouragement, especially when seeking a path forward in the Lord, is the Apostle Paul's testimony. He did much damage to the Body of Christ, and the Lord had much mercy on him. I took great comfort, though I was a worse sinner than Paul, claiming a faith in Christ for most of my life, causing discord and confusion among brethren, walking in hypocrisy and pride, that the Lord is merciful to those that hope in him, and is willing to forgive if any man repents.
“And I fell unto the ground, and heard a voice saying unto me, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? And I answered, Who art thou, Lord? And he said unto me, I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom thou persecutest. And they that were with me saw indeed the light, and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me. And I said, What shall I do, Lord? And the Lord said unto me, Arise, and go into Damascus; and there it shall be told thee of all things which are appointed for thee to do. And when I could not see for the glory of that light, being led by the hand of them that were with me, I came into Damascus. And one Ananias, a devout man according to the law, having a good report of all the Jews which dwelt there, Came unto me, and stood, and said unto me, Brother Saul, receive thy sight. And the same hour I looked up upon him. And he said, The God of our fathers hath chosen thee, that thou shouldest know his will, and see that Just One, and shouldest hear the voice of his mouth. For thou shalt be his witness unto all men of what thou hast seen and heard. And now why tarriest thou? arise, and be baptized, and wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord. And it came to pass, that, when I was come again to Jerusalem, even while I prayed in the temple, I was in a trance; And saw him saying unto me, Make haste, and get thee quickly out of Jerusalem: for they will not receive thy testimony concerning me. And I said, Lord, they know that I imprisoned and beat in every synagogue them that believed on thee: And when the blood of thy martyr Stephen was shed, I also was standing by, and consenting unto his death, and kept the raiment of them that slew him. And he said unto me, Depart: for I will send thee far hence unto the Gentiles.” (Acts 22:7-21, KJV)
Pressing On
Unto this day ever since my conversion, I've been pressing on towards the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. I'm currently in a blood covenant with the Lord of hosts, made possible by the sacrifice of his Son on the stake. He's forgiven me for the grievous sins I've done against his name, and he expects me to walk forward in the power of his Spirit which he's graciously given me. Every day, more learning, more purging, more understanding, more knowledge, and consequently, my biblical love towards others will be perfected, as God is love. Another core set of verses for me:
“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall: For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:5-11, KJV)
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7, KJV)
Final Exhortation
I hope and pray that all of this is an encouragement to you. Consider what I have said in this testimony of the grace and mercy of the Lord, and may he give you understanding in all things. The God of creation is willing, and ready to forgive, if you repent and come into the light, in purity and honesty. You can't hide anything from God, it will be found out, either in this life, or before his throne in judgement. He gives man time to seek him. You will find him if you seek him with all that you are. If he was merciful to me, he'll be merciful to you, if you're honest about your state before our Creator, who sees all and knows all. Repent, and the Lord promises to send his Spirit according to his own will to teach you in truth, when he sees you've truly given up your own life for him. May the Lord be glorified for ever and ever.
“And he said unto them, Is a candle brought to be put under a bushel, or under a bed? and not to be set on a candlestick? For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad.” (Mark 4:21-22, KJV)